Last weekend has been a tiring one for me. It challenged me spiritually, a BIG challenge. It was so big I wanted to give everything up. I want to stop going for BSF, stop going for DFG, stop talking to God, stop my ushering duties in church, stop going to church. Yes, it's THAT bad... What led me to that? After all, it ain't easy for me to be baptized. I faced challenges like many others out there... I felt forsaken. I felt that God is not making my life better despite months of prayers, despite asking friends to pray for me. I felt that God is not looking out for me. I'm not expecting Him to answer me instantly but many months have passed and I've not even seen any improvements of the person I've been praying for. I don't hear God speaking to me. There's just silence for the past few months when it concerns this particular person.
I'm really glad it didn't take me long to stop thinking negatively and giving everything up. I believe God answered me in a different manner. He adjusted my heart. Within minutes, I told myself - Hey! You shouldn't do all that. Go to church. Go for your BSF etc. Don't give everything up. I went to church the next day and you know what? God comforted me! He placed certain people at the right timing while I was making my way to church. I bumped into friends who are still trying to be confirmed members. It reminded me that many others are having difficulties and I shouldn't give up this treasure at all. I shouldn't even consider giving it up. I was due for ushering duties that day and you know what? God gave me joy while I serve. I can't explain it. I felt much joy while serving and I felt much joy worshiping God that day. He didn't give me answers but He comforts me! I no longer felt forsaken and I am amazed once again how God works. He gave me more than I ask for, more than what I expected. That day in church, we sang a song by Don Moen. I believe it is God will Make a Way. So appropriate! I went for my BSF class yesterday and it was about treasure. God is our treasure and we are His treasure. How appropriate AGAIN! =)
I'm really thankful to my BFF who never fails to crack me up.
I'm also thankful to my cousin who never fails to send me photos and videos of Chub Chub. She never fails to bring a smile to my face.
I'm also thankful to the girls in my BSF group for the support and encouragement.
Though I didn't share much about my difficulties, their words and actions are sufficient for me. =)
I love you Jesus & I'm thankful for your Grace and Mercy. I thank you for not forsaking me even when doubt sets in within me. I thank you for pulling me out of troubles and out of the works of the devil. You are All-Mighty, All-Magnificent & I'm real glad that you have chosen to save me. =) Lots of hugs and kisses...
Well, that explains why I haven't blogged for the past few days.
Breakfast for today was a packet of economical noodles and beehoon with fish fillet and fish cake.
Throughout this day and many days to come, I'll be drinking lots of green tea (packet form).
Lunch will be rice, Batang fish with ginger and stir fry veggie. I've not looked and I've not asked S but I hope it's not cabbage. =)
I've been craving for Claypot Sesame Oil Chicken for weeks and I finally satisfied my craving on Sunday for lunch and also yesterday for dinner! Yes! I went to the same store within a short period of time. They really taste THAT good! =) Like I said in previous post, the chicken is tender and no bones. The gravy is thick and good to go with a bowl of rice. Hey! Even make it TWO bowls of rice! Ha ha...
Today's a pretty long post. I do apologise if I'm boring you...
It's been my wish to climb Mount Kinabalu since more than 5 years ago. Yes, it's been that long and all through time, I didn't train at all. I've been slacking, enjoying life, pigging away. I was talking to a customer and knowing she's from Sabah, reminded me of Mt. Kinabalu. I told J about it. He climbed Mount Ophir before. It's a lower mountain than Mt. Kinabalu. He said, "You can't even jog! You want to climb a mountain?!" I hate being looked down. As such, I've made a vow to myself that I'll start training for 1.5 years. Thereafter, I'll go climb Mount Ophir. I'll take that as preparation for Mt. Kinabalu. After conquering Mt. Ophir, I'll train for another 3 - 6 months before I take on Mt. Kinabalu. I really hope I'll not stray away from my training. =) I'll keep you guys updated! Bear in mind, I'm not one who exercise consistently. Even climbing a flight of stairs leaves me panting. =( Training starts TODAY! Little steps at a time... =)
Have a great Tuesday Y'all!!!